Doing The Work To Let Your Works Be Known

Playing small may make me feel safe, but being my full self will liberate me.
— Giselle Buchanan

I already know what it feels like to hoard my gifts and watch from the sidelines while people score and win (and do other sports like things, because tbh I don’t watch sports, but it’s an easy metaphor haha). I already know what it feels like to be hyper critical of myself and call it “perfectionism”, allowing that to be the excuse for why I don’t share, and then be a tiny bit jealous when a person just as talented as me becomes successful (even though you know they work hard af, put themselves out there, and are super consistent). I already know what it’s like to know I have something sacred, something special within. To keep it to myself because I don’t want to be in the line of fire, criticized, judged (and then have the nerve wonder why people don’t see it). Or doing JUST enough to be seen, but not enough to be remembered or challenged. Let’s be real. The fear of the unknown is valid, but you know your cozy quiet. Your dim and disillusioned. You’ve been down there Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends. And I know that’s not where ya wanna be! No one talks about it. That subtle twinge of, “she (italics. You know that voice) got that? But I have equal or greater skill!” Someone was talking to me about her annoyance at people leaving their glamorous city lives and going to the woods one time then writing a book about it. She told me she’s been living with the land for real since the 70s. I was like, “Well, did you write your book?” She admitted that she didn’t. I was like, “SO YOU CAN’T BE MAD. She had the audacity to tell her story and someone found the worth in it. We can’t pick your story because you didn’t write it.” 3 weeks later she read me the first chapter of a memoir. This really happened. Ya know when you can see other people’s lives reflected in your own life much clearer than you can see yourself alone in the void of your mind? I learned a lot from that encounter. You don’t get to complain if you aren’t doing the work to let your works be known.