Decide

 


I guess this is a post about impostor syndrome, but it is also one about fear. My mind loves to complicate what is simple- Make what you want to make. I get stretched beyond that simple action by all of the imagined terrors coming to life in an instant as a result of that thing. If I do it and share it, everyone will laugh at me. Everyone will hate it. I will not respect myself if it is bad. I’m trying to think of all the other inflamed consequences I attach to the simple making. Often, those thoughts keep me silent. They keep me from sharing. Fear can be a kind of paralysis. I categorize many things as fear. At times, I get so caught up in what I need, what I don’t have, and what I wish to acquire for myself, that my vision fogs to the resources I have right before me- what my own two hands can create. I may not have the money I want, or live where I wish to live, or {insert whatever limitation here}. But in the consistent tapping into the power of all that I can do right now, I am building the foundation for what I am enroute to.  If you want to be a writer, but you don’t have a publisher, you can still write the 20 books in your head. You want to be a painter but you don’t have a gallery show? Instead of waiting for the gallery to give you permission to begin making, you can create enough things to fill 10 galleries. I’ve been trying to remind myself it’s much simpler than I sometimes think.