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And to transform, one must lose attachment to identity. These days I am examining how certain aspects of what I call my “fixed identity” may just be a story I once told or was told, and then assigned myself the permanent role.
I’m asking myself “what are the beliefs I am tying my identity to that keep me from the growth being who I truly am/want to be requires?” Sometimes we want to be the brilliant, self realized beings we imagine in the world, but we have aspects of our constructed identity which encourage us to remain limited. Remain small. Remain quiet. “I am the type of person who belongs in the background.” “No one wants to listen to me, it has always been that way.” “I am not the kind of person that does x.” You want tenderness, but your identity is that you don’t have emotions. You want to be creative, but your identity says that you are book smart and don’t use that part of your brain. We don’t take time to examine these rules, so they run on auto pilot in the background of our lives.
One big belief I am facing these days is that I am a person who is better connected to my mind than I am to my body. Being a person who grew up in church, there was the unconscious belief that this body is just a sack of skin, bones and muscle carrying the soul. It was a thing of sin to be disregarded. Now I am leaning in to the sacred space of the body. Realizing how lucky I am to have one carrying me around as a vehicle to feel my way through this existence. Determining how I would like to be in it. How I would like to move in it. The kind of care I wish for it to receive. As I get older and feel within my body the result of lack of care and attention. Aches and pains. Injuries that don’t heal as quickly as they used to. I tune in to the ways limiting the possible expressions of myself to my current identity can harm me in more ways than it can help. I am adding my body to my creative expression. I want to take dance classes. I want to lift weights and build strength. I want to be agile and flexible. I can add the things I want to my identity in order to make myself the well-rounded balanced being my spirit desires. Crafting identity is part of my art too.