Committing To My Play
An important aspect of my creative/healing journey over the past two weeks has been play. I’m realizing tht #becausecapitalism I’ve internalized the idea tht in essence, I have to be serious all the time. That being a joyful/fun person somehow means work isn’t getting done. That my worth is determined by how many “important” things I have in my mind. Lately, I’m throwing that away and connecting with my youthful self. I really liked her. She was fun! I’ve been doing crafts, watching old favorite shows, going to the park and exploring in ways I don’t usually allow myself to. Healing the severance between her needs and the ways I’ve adapted to survive. One day I walked across the muddy lawn towards a nature trail I found 5 minutes from my house and once I released control abt how much mud there was everywhere/how dirty my shoes were going to be afterwards, I experienced the purest, most child-like joy I’ve felt in ages. Last night I went to an arcade with some friends and was in tears with laughter all night (even though we only won like 1 game lol). Joy really brings you back to the present. I am committed to honoring the part of myself who wants to play as much as I honor my intellect and drive. I’m asking myself what ways I can bring play into my daily life. What ways I can facilitate joy for myself. Lately, it involves collaging, watching Sailor Moon while I work, using lots of color based on what resonates with my spirit not what is “refined” or “mature”, sketchbook doodling, carrying colored pencils in my purse for long train rides, setting the intention to spend more time with people who remind me to play and overall just reframing how I’ve learned to view life. Putting much less pressure on it and myself to conform to standards I frankly DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT in the grand scheme of things. There are many studies on how play increases productivity even in the workplace, so this exploration seems to have benefits going beyond personal enjoyment. Prioritizing and filling my joy reserve is something I was never taught, but seems to be an integral part of my personal education, and I’m so grateful for how my days have been feeling as a result.